My Addicted Son

Mother -

I know that you want your son to succeed in the upcoming final exams. I also know that you are accustomed to taking pride in your son's grades upon their release.

Because I know these things, I have come to you with an excellent offer which I believe will interest you. Below I establish a pros-cons table for the offer which I will explain in succession.

Advantages -

The satisfaction of knowing that your son performed excellently on his final exams.
The comfort of knowing that your son now has a better chance of getting into the University of his choice upon graduation.

Disadvantages -

The price of a mechanical pencil + S&H.

What was that? Only the price of a mechanical pencil ( + S&H) for the benefits described above?! Crazy talk. No deal could be that good. Fortunately for you, however, this deal is!

I know that I have inherited my inconstant relationship with pencils from you, and therefore I know that you understand me when I say that I have found the Holy Grail of mechanical pencils. It is located here:


If you were to order it and give the shipping address as my address at school, it would be here in plenty of time for me to take my SEVEN rigorous final exams. I trust that you will make the best decision to safeguard your interests in this matter and hope to hear from you soon!

Your son, loving and thanking you,

Matthew.=